So I had another post written and saved in drafts to use but then I did something today after my morning class. I went to see the movie I Can Only Imagine. This is not a movie review. It is me sharing about how forgiveness led to my father, who was an alcoholic, coming to know Jesus in the final year of his life partly because I told him I had forgiven him a long time ago. I guess that is the point of a movie, to make one think about life. I am still kind of in the midst of memories flooding my mind as I write, but as with other things in my life, my hope is that by sharing even one person can be touched and helped.
My intention is not to recount my father’s sins and shortcomings. I think when I say alcoholic it says enough and you can fill in the blanks. He did get sober and live sober the last almost thirty years of his life, but he never was able to talk with me directly for the making amends step. I would see him but there was no real conversation or connection even after he got sober.
The path I chose for my life was to follow my Savior Jesus and try to live for him. It was a choice my father never seemed to approve of but the only approval I was seeking was that of my Lord Jesus. I tried to share my faith with my father at different times but he never wanted to hear it.
In February 2008 I received a phone call telling me my father was in the hospital and that it was dire. I got there and found out his heart was weak and that he needed a quintuple bypass if they could get some other issues under control. I was alone with him in the room and felt it was time to talk. The first thing I told him was that he knew what I was about to share with him, but there was something he needed to know first. I told him I had forgiven him a long time ago. When he heard me say that, tears came trickling out of his eyes. Because he knew and felt I had forgiven him, he was open to the rest of what I wanted to share. After sharing with him about Jesus, I asked him if he wanted Jesus to forgive him and that if he did to give a thumbs up because he couldn’t speak very well. He raised both hands high in the air to give two thumbs up.
The following 14 months, he was in and out of the hospital. He was living in a nursing home. I visited him three or four times a week in the nursing home and spent a lot of time with him in the hospitals. Each time I would visit, I would have my bible in my hand and he would point to my bible wanting me to read to him. Then he would put his hand up for me to hold his hand while I prayed with him. I was basically his pastor the last 14 months of his life.
There were small blessings along the way during those 14 months such as when nurses, nursing assistants, or housekeeping workers from other countries would come into his room, I would ask them where they were from and the greet them in their language. In those hospital rooms, my father caught a glimpse into my life.
So maybe this posting is only cathartic on my part. My hope is it helps at least one person to have hope for their loved ones that seem lost to them and to realize that with Jesus, miracles can happen and not give up praying.