Let Their Voices Be Heard- My Interview with Temi of Christian Mommas Part 4

I am so thankful that Temi has done this interview series with me. I admire her for how much she has overcome and accomplished.

This is part 4 of my interview with Temi of christianmommas.com. In Part 1 she shared about experiencing discrimination. In Part 2 she shared about hardships as an international student. In Part 3 she shared about what inspired her to write her wonderful book A Christian Mother’s Creed. Today she shares about intergenerational effect of slavery and racism.

Please explain generational effect of slavery and racism. Do you have concerns for your children?

There is a video below summarizing the content of this post. You may watch the video or simply read this post. 

Do I have concerns for my children?

I do not have concerns about my children experiencing racism because I have handed this concern over to God and I make a conscious effort to meditate on the things that can go well with my children, not what can go wrong for them. Meditating on what can go wrong triggers fear. 

I do not expect my children to feel the effects of slavery because my ancestors did not experience slavery. In fact, my grandfather was a prince. Humanly speaking, I am from a royal family. More importantly the Bible reminds me of my royalty as a child of God. This is what I am transmitting to my children. If Christian parents understand their royal identity, I believe they will also be empowered to help their children think and act like royalties. 

Get Over It!

I will confess that I used to wonder why African-Americans cannot get over racism and slavery. I used to say things have changed and slavery is a thing of the past. I used to wonder why African-Americans could not stop worrying and expressing concerns about racism. I immigrated to the United States believing it is the land of opportunities especially for those who are citizens. It was irritating to find some citizens complaining. My American dream was to become an American citizen, I achieved it and started enjoying the benefits. So I expected African Americans to get over it, quit talking about slavery and racism as barriers. 

Slavery and Racism are Traumatic Experiences

As a perinatal, infant, and early childhood mental health consultant, I constantly educate myself on things that can interfere with the development of a healthy parent-child relationship. Also, in the course of my doctoral studies, I became more aware of the intergenerational transfer of trauma. One day, it dawned on me that I never thought of slavery and racism as traumatic experiences. Trauma is the reason African-Americans cannot easily “just got over it!” 

Just like child abuse, divorce, war, and other traumatic events can affect generations, slavery and racism can affect those who did not directly experience slavery.

According to the American Psychological Association, trauma is any experience that causes significant fear, helplessness, and confusion. They can have long lasting negative effects on attitude, behavior and functioning. (paraphrased)

Slavery is a helpless situation. The ancestors of many African-Americans were forced into slavery. They were helpless and hopeless. Being sold into slavery must have been confusing. Racism also causes confusion. How do you make sense of being treated less than human because of your race or skin color? 

The sad thing is that these traumatic experiences can be transferred. Some studies show trauma transmission can go down three generations. While slavery and segregation ended years ago, the effects of these traumatic experiences are still being felt because parents pass trauma to their children. Racism has not ended, so the trauma is still being transmitted. 

It was difficult to find several articles on the intergenerational transfer of trauma within the context of slavery and racism. However, I found several articles on the intergenerational transfer of trauma among holocaust survivors and it helped me better understand the intergenerational transfer of trauma.

Holocaust Memorial 

If Holocaust survivors transmitted their traumatic experiences to their children and grandchildren. African-American slaves also subconsciously transmitted their traumatic experiences down their lineage. 

Epigenetics and Psychological Transfer of Trauma

Studies show that trauma can be transmitted genetically. This reminds me of the saying that “it is in the blood”. While scientists are yet to completely figure out how this process occurs, they acknowledge that it exists. Even the Bible acknowledges this fact. The fall of humanity through the fall of Adam and the redemption of humanity through the blood of Jesus are perfect examples. 

What about psychological transfer of trauma. As stated earlier traumatic experiences change human behavior, attitude and functioning. The way parents think about life reflects in their words and actions. Children naturally learn from parents as their first teachers. The trauma of racism and slavery can make one fearful and distrustful of those in authority.They can manifest in form of hate, resentment, feeling disadvantaged, feeling misunderstood, slavery mentality, heightened sense of racism and more. 

The effects are endless and their manifestation often depend on how those who directly experienced these traumatic events dealt with their experience. Traumatic experiences impact how parents raise their children and many times, they teach their children to deal with life the same way they dealt with trauma.

So, I have presented some problems. I have provided evidences that racism and slavery have intergenerational effects parents need to be aware of.

As a perinatal, infant, and early childhood consultant, I am actively involved in breaking the cycle of intergenerational transfer of trauma. Whether it be slavery, racism, child abuse, divorce, etc. Through postpartum support, emotional and spiritual preparation for parenthood, my company helps parents reflect on things that can interfere with the parent-child relationship.  We help them become aware of subconscious and inherited child rearing practices that can affect the healthy development of their children. 

Please visit littleonespiecmh.com to learn how we can support your parenting journey and put an end to the intergenerational transfer of trauma. 

Our children deserve the best of us. They deserve to live a trauma-free life. African-American parents deserve the opportunity to raise their children without fear of racism.

Thank you for your time.

John 8:36 (KJV)

If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.

References

Lev–Wiesel, R. (2016;2007;). Intergenerational transmission of trauma across three generations: A preliminary study. Qualitative Social Work : QSW : Research and Practice, 6(1), 75-94. doi:10.1177/1473325007074167

Yehuda, R., & Lehrner, A. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: Putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. World Psychiatry, 17(3), 243-257. doi:10.1002/wps.20568

Denov, M., Fennig, M., Rabiau, M. A., & Shevell, M. C. (2019). Intergenerational resilience in families affected by war, displacement, and migration: “It runs in the family”. Journal of Family Social Work, 22(1), 17-45. doi:10.1080/10522158.2019.1546810

https://dictionary.apa.org/trauma

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/02/legacy-trauma

Opportunity to Network- Promote Your Blog! — Phoebe, MD: Medicine + Poetry

Dear Friends, Happy August! This weekend, I again open up PhoebeMD.com for another Meet & Greet event. Remember, this is your moment to shine! This was originally started on PhoebeMD.com as a dedicated time for you all to come together to share blogs and favorite posts, make new connections, and expand your blog audiences. The […]

Promote Your Blog! — Phoebe, MD: Medicine + Poetry

Assumptions About Me- My Answers

In my Tuesday post, I asked people to leave comments making assumptions about me with the plan that I would answer them today. I know that I told those participating I would post this on Saturday, but Temi needs more time for her answer to the last question for our interview for Let Their Voices Be Heard.

I would like to thank all of those who participated. It was fun for me and I hope fun reading for you.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com

Ashok of Musings of a Wanderer at ashokwahi.wordpress.com said- You are a very serious person 

I am serious about my faith, my students, and helping others, but I also like to joke a lot. 🙂

Cheryl of parkinsonscare.net said- I assume that you sing in the shower, and maybe even just around the house

If I sing when no one else is around, am I really singing? 🙂 I actually don’t sing in the shower. I sometimes sing around my place usually worship songs.

Lydia of inhisserviceandlovingit.com said-

You like teaching. Yes I like teaching and I especially like giving a certain someone homework 🙂

You love doing jumping jacks. Jack jumps? Where does Jack jump? I never jump with Jack. You don’t like seafood. I like fish and sometimes crab legs, but not stuff like oysters.

Pallavi of curatingthoughts.blog said- You like dancing. I dance on the inside in my heart because it is safer for those around me. 🙂

Bekaha of owlservejesus.wordpress.com said-

You like liver and onions. one word answers that- YUCK. lol You wish your hair was light blond. I actually color my hair white to look older and more like a professor, Do you believe me? You eat spaghetti at least once a week. I wish I could. Celiacs means no more.

Kavitha of sunshinysasite.wordpress.com said- You like gathering good people and life altering experiences. Yes I love gathering people and miss it so much during this time. Life altering experiences like travel I LOVE. People will not forget you Matt. I hope they don’t forget me.

Stephen of livechristcentered.com said- You enjoy fishing. I did when I was a boy but now the only fishing I do is to go to a restaurant and order fish 🙂

Tina of pippispoetry.com said- You like singing in the rain. It is raining outside now but I am not singing. 🙂 You are the 11th child. I am the 11th out of 5 children that would be incredible lol 🙂 Your favorite colour (spelt the Canadian way) is green, and you had your tonsils removed twice. Yes my Canadian daughter we need the u in color 🙂 I like green but don’t really have a fav color. Yikes tonsils removed twice no- but I did have them out when I was five. I still think I deserve popsicles for that to this day 🙂

Barbara of mylifeinourfathersworld.wordpress.com said-

You are the best cook that you know- I would be in desperate trouble if I was the best cook I know. 🙂 You once a had a tarantula for a pet- no but I once had a toy one. You have decided to get your 1st body piercing & tattoo as soon as it is safe to do so- Body Piercing no way tattoo maybe but I don’t like needles so maybe not. 🙂

Ruelha of ruelha.com said-

You are an undercover agent and this blog etc is just a very good cover to hide your true identity. Love your active imagination little sister 🙂

You were actually born in India. That would be interesting because my birth certificate is from the USA maybe it is a conspiracy haha.

Your favourite food is deep fried (bhut jholakia) chillies with sriracha sauce. I would like to try that but is it too spicy? 😉

You cannot leave home without counting all your fingers and toes. No but I ALWAYS check to make sure I have my keys. 🙂

You have a patent pending on your new style of dance-aerobics which you call the Matt-zumba. Scary thought- People dancing like me 🙂

You are GREEvegan who eats only greens because you are suspicious of other colours in vegetables/fruits because the leaves are green, duh Those orange, blue, purple, red colors are kind of suspicious after all 🙂

Georgetta of journeythroughlifeministries.com said- I assume, while you enjoy being with people, you also cherish quiet, alone time. I do enjoy alone time being an ambivert BUT this COVID stay home thing is really getting old.

Alimw2013 of forhispurpose.blog said- I assume you can strike up a conversation with anyone (a stranger, someone in trouble with the law, people of all ages, etc) Well what are the people there for? Of course to strike up a conversation 🙂

Sonrisa of walking-by-faith.blog said-My assumptions are that you speak several languages- I speak 3 languages English Portuguese and Spanish and can greet people in 30 languages.

You were very much sought after during WWI due to your special Pilot abilities. If time travel was possible that might be true lol

You loooove food, enjoy good conversation but deep down you are an introvert with a melancholy disposition. I loooove food other people cook for me but I am an ambivert and yes can get melancholy at time🤷🏻‍♀️😆

Birds of prey are your favourite pets.( remember stoning me is not allowed in the New Covenant ). It would be cool to have some eagles for friends. I would never stone you in the biblical sense and of course not in the modern sense either haha

Rene of hearttokens.home.blog said- I assume you love comedy and to tell corny jokes. Yes I love comedy but my jokes have no corn. I don’t even eat cornflakes. my jokes are just funny haha

You love to polka when no one is watching, yodel in the shower and play practical jokes on unsuspecting victims! If I dance polka when no one else is around am I really dancing? Yodel would probably make me throat burst haha

And secretly wish you could be a super hero…How close am I? (this was too fun!) It would be cool to be a super hero but which one?

Beverley of becomingtheoilandthewine.com said- Due to the long “lock down,” I assume you have become so good in the kitchen that you have decided to apply to culinary school. You are aspiring to become the next foodnetwork star. I know I am right! I have not applied to a culinary school. I think I could totally rock on the foodnetwork as a comedy act trying to cook 🙂

Herry of herrychiccounsels.com said-

My assumption is that there is no dull moment with you. And in your personal space, you have a great laugh at memories etc.Am I right or right?. I don’t know why my students laugh in class because I am SO serious haha. I do enjoy funny memories 🙂

Ruth of plantedbylivingwater.wordpress.com said-

I assume you love to teach, you are a good listener, you love to make people laugh, you get lonely sometimes but have learned to turn to Jesus who is your constant companion. You have found Him to be so faithful to you that you want to tell everybody you meet about Him so they can know Him like you do.I assume you secretly wish you could travel more. You are a courageous person who loves to coordinate gatherings of like-minded people.

Thanks for the kind words Ruth. I do secretly wish I could travel more. There is so much more to see and experience 🙂

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

The Thirteenth Disciple Tag

I would like to thank my little sister Purple Rose of reluctantpreachersdaughter.wordpress.com for creating this tag and for tagging into it. I enjoy her posts where she shares about her life and her faith.

I have always said that if I were alive when Jesus walked the earth, I would be His thirteenth disciple. I thought it would be fun to create a tag based on that idea.” ~ Purple Rose

Here are the rules:

  1. Thank the person who tagged you and include a link to their post
  2. Link the original post (The Thirteenth Disciple Tag) and give credit to the creator of this tag (Purple Rose) https://reluctantpreachersdaughter.wordpress.com
  3. Answer the 13 questions asked by Purple Rose
  4. Tag as many people as you like
  5. Use the original tag image:

Here are the 13 questions:

1. Which disciple is your favorite?- My favorite one came is John. I love sharing from John with my international friends. 🙂

2. How often do you pray The Lord’s Prayer? I rarely say the exact prayer. However, I use it as a guide often.

3. How often do you take communion? At my church, before the shutdown, it was about once a month.

4. Do you listen to sermons during the week? I have been listening to devotionals by my pastor on YouTube. I usually don’t listen to sermons. I prefer to study the bible.

5. If Jesus asked you to have your own small group of 4, which 3 disciples or Bible Characters would you choose to be in your weekly prayer group? John, Paul, and Mary Magdalene.

6. Why did you choose those 3? John because his writings show more of how relational Jesus is. Paul because of his faith. Mary Magdalene because of her perspective of being an outcast who became close to Jesus and the first to see him after his resurrection.

7. What Bible characters do you relate to or understand the most? I relate to Paul because of his travels to other countries and cultures.

8. Which disciple would you argue with the most? Probably Peter.

9. Which disciple would you get along with the best? John

10. If you were in the painting of the Last Supper, where would you be sitting? Probably out of the scene because I am not that important.

11. Peter carried a sword and cut off a soldier’s ear in an attempt to protect Jesus. If you were there that night, what would your reaction have been to the soldiers coming to arrest Jesus? I really don’t know. I would probably have been in shock.

12. We all need a Simon Peter in our life, someone who carries a “sword” and will fight for you. Who is/was your Simon Peter? I have friends from church who have really supported me.

13. Similar to Jesus, we all have a Judas in our lives who helps us fulfill our destiny or find our purpose. Can you look back and appreciate their role in your life despite the harm they did or the hurt they caused? I can look back and see how it helped lead to where I am not. My attitude is similar to that of Joseph when his brothers came to Egypt looking for help and Joseph said- What you meant for evil, God meant for good.

My nominees if they choose to participate are:

Lydia

Tina

Barbara

Pastor Chuck

Beverley

Elisha

Temi

Deandra

Sarah

Ruelha

Alimw

Cheryl

Herry

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Let’s Have Fun- Assumptions About Me

I did this some time ago borrowing the idea from Pooja of lifesfinewhine.com. The idea is for you to share something you assume about me in my comments section. On Saturday this week I will respond to the assumptions.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com

Make them fun but keep them appropriate. 🙂 They don’t have to be serious. 🙂

Join in the fun. It is my way of celebrating going over 20,000 views a few weeks ago.