Music Mondays- Thy Will Be Done by Hillary Scott and the Scott Family

I’m so confused 
I know I heard you loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here 
I don’t wanna think 
I may never understand
That my broken heart is a part of your plan
When I try to pray 
All I’ve got is hurt and these four words

Following Jesus does not guarantee us a life free of trouble, difficult times, downfalls in life, or illness. There are times that we feel the words in the lyrics.

I know I have had times that I was confused because I had heard him so clearly and a major downfall hit. A huge example is when I left a promising career to go to school to study for ministry. I could not finished my education there because of my first serious bout with chronic illness.

When I came back to my home city, I experienced ridicule. I went through the experience of almost dying alone except two faithful friends. Over time, step by step, Jesus led me to the ministry I have now, but the ordeal was not easy and nothing I would wish on anyone.

Even now at this time in my life, when there are times chronic illness interferes with ministry, it is hard to accept. Staying home with no energy and in pain only being able to watch videos is not something I enjoy.

We face times that we have our own Garden of Gethsemane moments of surrender to God not knowing how it will all work out or if it even will.

On the night before Jesus was crucified, he was in the Garden of Gethsemane. His pray was so intense that he sweat blood. He knew what was ahead of him. He prayed to the Father in Matthew 26:

“My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

Following Jesus means a life of moments of coming to understand- Thy Will Be Done.

This video Thy Will Be Done by Hillary Scott and the Scott Family expresses so beautifully how such moments feel.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.


Following Jesus

A few Sundays ago a special friend from Brazil bought me lunch for my birthday. She calls me papa bear and I call her filha-daughter. To give you an example of our friendship, she drove me home from the hospital after a minor surgery in November 2017. We took a picture together which she posted on Facebook with the title- Rescuing Papa Bear from the hospital.

During lunch she talked with me about dating apps as in she tried to encourage me to use one. I told here if I did my dating profile would have to be:

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Overweight older man, broke home missionary, have gotten uglier as I got older, living with chronic illness so might have to cancel dates at last minute etc.

We laughed and she told me I wouldn’t get any dates with that profile. On such apps some people might emphasize the positive or even outright lie to attract others.

In this day and age of ‘Christian leaders’ writing books with titles like Your Best Life Now, which are a mix of some Christianity and self empowerment thinking, honesty about what Christ offers seems to be lacking.

Imagine a profile on an app to attract more Christians reading something like:

Eternal life guaranteed. Forgiveness 100%. Relationship with God.


You might suffer. You might lose everything. You might lose your job. You might lose friends. Your life on earth might get worse but cheer up I am with you.

I am inspired by Paul’s life. He had it made in the eyes of religious leaders and community leaders. He was at the top. But one encounter with Jesus and he became the church planting apostle who was thrown in jail, shipwrecked. beaten, and much more suffering.

It causes me to think about what Jesus said if anyone wants to follow him in Luke 9:

“Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me”

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Paul did and he expressed his feelings about it in Philippians 3″

” But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ”

That was written by Paul to a church in Philippi that started by Paul being beaten and thrown in jail after delivering a slave girl of being possessed. Read the story in Acts 16.

Just as our focus should be on our relationship with the giver, Jesus, and not the gifts he gives in our own lives, so should our emphasis be on Jesus and his love as we share him with others and the offer he holds out in his hands of forgiveness and eternal life not on false promises. Yes Jesus does still perform miracles and do wonderful things for us, but what if God’s allows us to suffer for his purposes?

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Show Love

Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love. Mother Teresa

I love this Mother Teresa quote. It is a way of thinking that is so needed in our times. We have mega churches with services on TV, books galore to buy, and much more. A person could think they are insignificant compared to what they see on TV. When reading through the bible, we see amazing things God did through ordinary people such a miracles and healings.

We can tend to forget what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:  

“But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away”. 

The things we are impressed with are the things that will fade away. but there is something that will not fade away that Paul also wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:

” Love never fails”


“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

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Love is what will remain forever. Without love, any gifting we serve in is meaningless. God rewards the love we show him by helping his people as Hebrew 6 says:

“God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them “

Showing God’s love has opened so many doors for me to be able to share with people from all over the world.

Yesterday after I finished my lesson with my friend from Mexico, we went to to Produce with a Purpose. They sell produce and part of the proceeds are donated to an organization/ministry that fights human sex trafficking- Love Justice.

The people selling the produce stand outside in the summer heat all day. They will be doing so all summer every day. They are not on TV and are not writing books to sell. They are doing small things with great love.

They have been doing so for years. They may not get any attention in the media, but I am certain God sees them and what they are doing.

If you live in my city of Lincoln, stop by their truck at 70th and Van Dorn for some produce and know that part of the money you spend will be used to rescue children and young women from human sex trafficking.

If you want to know more about the work Love Justice is doing, click on- Love Justice.

Remember God sees and will reward everything. No one is overlooked or insignificant in God’s kingdom.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

World Refugee Day/Jesus Was A Refugee

There are so many aspects of Jesus’s life and ministry when he was on earth. One that I think gets overlooked is the fact that Jesus began his earthly life as a refugee. We read in Matthew 2:

“When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up,” he said, “take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.”

Joseph took Mary and Jesus and fled to Egypt to escape King Herod’s soldiers. The soldiers did come and killed all of the male children 2 years of age and under.

Fleeing to escape the threat of danger, oppression, and death is what a refugee does. Jesus began his earthly life as a refugee. So let me ask you, Do you think Jesus has a place in his heart for refugees? Also what should our attitude and response as Christians be to refugees living in our cities?

I feel blessed that Jesus called me to teach, help, and show his love to refugees living in my city. They have come here from literally all over the world.

I have met thousands of refugees over the years. Some faces and stories stay with me such as the 90 year old grandmother I met at her grandson’s wedding. They are refugees from Burma and part of The Karen People. .

When I join in cultural celebrations, I often think about the reality for my refugee friends in the countries they fled from such as joining my Yazidi friends to celebrate their New Year in April. They fled genocide to come here. They lived under oppression for centuries. Now they live here in freedom.

.I have come to appreciate what Mother Teresa meant when she said of the poorest of the poor she helped in India:

“Each one of them is Jesus in disguise”

My hope is to be the hand of a hopeful stranger reaching out a hand to refugees in my city as one of my favorite songs, A Safe Place to Land.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Yesterday was ugh- a Fibro Day, but God….

Sunday was wonderful with going to church and then having lunch with a friend. We met at a Vietnamese restaurant to eat one of my favorite foods- Pho, Pho is a rice noodle soup that I love to eat.

The week was off to a great start on Sunday, so it was full steam ahead, right?

Wrong!!! I woke up Monday realizing that fatigue had reared its ugly head again. I woke up tired. I went back to sleep. All I could do yesterday was binge watch some shows. When I am fatigued like that, I can’t focus to read.

That is the reality of living with chronic illness. I never know when a bad day will come. The only thing I accomplished yesterday was posting in my blog..Flare ups can include:

Fibro is one of the chronic illnesses I live with but it is the one that kicks my butt the most. I have been living with chronic illness for over 25 years. I have not shared much in the past because I do not want to let it slow me down. Now I am at an age most people slow down a bit anyway, but I still do not want to slow down. I have had ministry trips to other countries and hope to go on more.

However, I did feel the presence of Jesus with me all day. I had a song in my spirit all day. 🙂 It helped me to focus on the wonderful guaranteed eternal future with Jesus 🙂

I have felt I should share about my life with chronic illness because my hope is to encourage others living with chronic illness. I think of 2 Corinthian 1:

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

God has helped me, been with me, through so many issues in this life. My desire is to be used by God to encourage those who experience the same or similar struggles.

So if by sharing that I had what I call a Fibro day yesterday meaning a Fibromyalgia flare, I can help encourage others, than that makes it worth it to me because in heaven I won’t have chronic illness anymore. 🙂

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

Music Mondays- Speak the Name- Dove Awards Performance by Koryn Hawthorne and Natalie Grant

Strongholds are broken
I’ve been made free
I am forgiven
Fear has to leave
Strongholds are broken
I’ve been made free
I am forgiven
Fear has to leave
Your Name is healing
Your Name is power
Your Name is holy
My strong, strong tower
Wonderful Name
Glorious Name
Powerful Name of Jesus


The lyrics of speak the name are so powerfully true. Jesus has the name above all other names. He has all authority and power. But he extends the invitation to come to him for healing. mercy, help, forgiveness. The list is endless of what he offers to those who call upon his name.

Even a faint whisper of calling out to him in our lowest moments, in our darkest hours, when we feel hope is lost, will get his attention. Jesus invited us to do so in Matthew 11:

“All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

So many times in my life I have called out to him and have seen him work. Sometimes in big ways and sometimes in a series of small things, but it is him working. He often works through others.

One year ago I was at one of my lowest points. I had been dealing with pain and fatigue due to chronic illness. I couldn’t work a simple job for summer income during the break from teaching. All I could do was say Jesus. I could only say his name. I couldn’t say anything else as I tried to pray. I could only say his name with a feeling of please help.

He moved. He worked in small ways and big ways. It started when a special friend brought me food that took care of me for a week. It made me feel human again. So many ways that Jesus worked through others last summer.

If you are in a low point, just speak his name. He already knows your situation and what you need. If you don’t know what to say or can barely say anything, just say his name as a prayer. Just say- Jesus.

I want to share this performance of speak the name at the Dove Awards with you today. Koryn Hawthorne and Natalie Grant sing is so beautifully and powerfully.

Just speak the name.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

When Jesus Returns

Yesterday afternoon I finally went to see Avengers End Game. I like to wait to see such movies to avoid crowds. There were only five people in the theater, so I really enjoyed watching the movie.

As I watched the battle scene between Thanos and his evil forces against the Avengers, I began to think of something else. That is how my mind works lol.

I began to think about the scene when Jesus returns to earth in Revelation 19:

“I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and wages war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself. He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God.The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean.  Coming out of his mouth is a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. “He will rule them with an iron scepter.”He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written::

King of kings and Lord of lords

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When Jesus returns, there will be no doubt that it is him.The armies of the earth will try to fight him, but being all powerful and immortal, those armies won’t stand a chance.

No one knows when he will return. Jesus said himself that it is not for us to know the time in Acts 1:

“Then they gathered around him and asked him, “Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?”

“He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.”

The way things are going in the world I often wish he would come back very soon.

But then I think about the people who are not ready and I am thankful for what God revealed about himself in 2 Peter 3:

“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

God’s desire is for all to come to know him even though he knows many won’t but rather refuse to. However, my desire is to share his love with as many people as I can.

Thank you for reading; God Bless.

My Sort of Personal Holiday Week

For me this week is kind of like a holiday to celebrate. Nothing on the calendar the past few days for a holiday. My holiday has nothing to do with Flag Day today or Father’s Day on Sunday. So what is this personal holiday for me?

It is finally being able to open the windows. I have tree pollen allergies, bad tree pollen allergies. I am one of those who checks tree pollen counts every day starting usually in late March when the trees start to bud until usually the end of May but it took longer this year. The count is down to almost zero. So I opened to windows yesterday and slept with the windows open last night. Glorious fresh air 🙂

Photo by Nur Andi Ravsanjani Gusma on

Allergies may not sound like a big deal, but living with chronic illness allergies feel like a bit of piling on. Now I can enjoy the sunny days and not worry. Sunshine is important for our bodies because our bodies make Vitamin D while we are in the sun.

I am looking forward to heaven because there is no sickness there. That means no fatigue, pain, and also no tree pollen problems. 🙂

Photo by Rahul Pandit on

It helps me cope with living with chronic illness to remember that it is not forever. I tend to take each day as it comes realizing that each day also brings me one day closer to being with Jesus. If it is a bad day, I try to not let it get me down and tell myself it is one day. If it is a good day, I enjoy it.

Jesus taught in Matthew 6:

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”.

I don’t know if tomorrow will be a difficult day or a good day. I only know I am not in tomorrow yet. Today is what is in front of me. This morning I woke up ready for my day, well after coffee of course. 🙂

Thank you for reading. God Bless.

God’s Love/Spotlight on a New Blogger

A simple yet profound truth that John shared in his first letter is found in 1 John 4:

“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

Those three words- God is love- express so much. God’s love is unconditional. God’s love is nurturing, sustaining, providing, self sacrificing. It runs counter to our selfish ME generation.

There are times I read posts that remind me of God’s unconditional love. Of course as human beings we are not capable to fully expressing God’s love and struggle, however, a post recently by a new blogger caused me to reflect on God’s sacrificial love for us. She is a mother with an autistic child.

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Her blog is Her first post is Notes from a Sycamore Tree. It is a beautiful post that shares her struggle and Jesus helping her as she loves her autistic son.

Loving others with God’s love is not easy. At times it will drive us to prayer to ask for strength. We are fallen imperfect people living with other fallen imperfect people.

God has called each of us to love others. Often it isn’t easy, but it is what he wants from us. But we can’t do it in our own power. Fortunately for us, he will give us the ability as we seek him.

Thank you for reading. God Bless.